So when I think about non conformity and rebellion I also think about risk. For both non conformity and rebellion are risky. When I was in junior high I had an amazing drama teacher who told us to "take a risk." It was a good lesson. Good words to have running through your head for 20 plus years. Dare to lead. It turns out that she was on to something. A quick search of "risk taking" leads to all sorts of life coaching sites that point out the amazing things that happen when we take risks. Check out this list from Lance Armstrong's Livestrong site http://www.livestrong.com/article/14727-becoming-a-risk-taker/
* To laugh is to risk appearing the fool;* To weep is to risk appearing sentimental;* To reach out for another is to risk involvement;* To expose feelings is to risk exposing true self;* To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss;* To love is to risk not being loved in return;* To live is to risk dying;* To hope is to risk despair;* To try is to risk failure;* But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing;* The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing;* He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love and live;* Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave and has forfeited freedom'* Only a person who risks is free.
To even use the word "risk" seems.......... well............ummmmmmmm? Risky! Risk comes in 2 types: the risk that involves physical harm and negative stuff like "at risk behaviors" and "at risk youth" (In all my naivete I'm still not sure I know what they're at risk of?) and the risk that leads to good stuff like leadership and adventure and confidence and courage.
My Dad was in the occupational health and safety industry. Playing spot the safety hazards was one of my favorite childhood games. "Accidents don't happen they're caused" and "no stupid human tricks" were popular sayings around my house. Sayings that for the most part I followed. Except for the time I tore around a rice paddy on the back of a motor bike without a helmet. We didn't get the H1N1 vaccine and we don't own hand sanitizer. Risky I know.......... Although I kind of think that the risk of disapproval from other moms is bigger than the risk of viruses. So as far as the physical goes I would say that we as a family don't tend to take risks. No bungee jumping for us. Although I will admit that the zip line over Robson Street in Vancouver looks like a lot of fun!
Do I take social and personal risks? Yooooooooou betcha. All the time. I took a risk when I married a man I had known for 4 months and had met in person only once. One of my aunts was sure that I was marrying an axe murderer. But my Mom had taken a similar risk and she and my dad had been married for 30 years at the time of her death; I guess it gave me the confidence to think that if it worked for her it could work for me. On the other hand nothing prevents you from taking a risk faster than having a bad experience. Past history of taking risks determines future willingness to take more. Like all things you learn from your success and failures. You probably learn more from the failures than successes.
Risks are often blocked by the thought of "what if.............?" The decision to get pregnant again after the loss of baby Jonathan involved the question of "what if it happens again?" And it did happen again. Seven months after losing Johnathan we lost baby Noel. The decision to have another child after that was "what if it happens again?" times five billion. The result of the decision to take the risk anyways turns 3 tomorrow. It was a good risk. So was getting married to the "axe murderer." The axe murder's usual response to "what if?" is "what if Barbie had a hand grenade?" He means that we can't possibly answer all the "what ifs" in the world. Just move on and do it anyways.
The decision to move to Georgia came with the obligatory "what if we don't like it?" . We had hoped that we would, and hope is definitely one of the things that encourages people to take risks, but in the end we didn't like Georgia at all (that's not the ENTIRE truth but go with it for now and I'll tell you the story sometime) When my Huggyband lost his job we were relieved to have a reason to move on. We took a risk, it didn't work out as we had hoped but we met some great people along the way and ate a lot of fried chicken and I got to wear flip flops clear through to November. Our curiosity about what it would be like to live there is satisfied. Now we know. Like the Garth Brooks song "How you ever gonna know" says:
How you ever gonna know
What it's like to live there
How you ever gonna know victory
How you ever gonna know
What it's like when dreams become reality
How you ever gonna know
How it feels to hold her
How you ever gonna know
What it's like to dance
How you ever gonna know
If you never take a chance
That's not the only Garth Brooks song that talks about risk. Check this lyric out from "Standing outside the fire."
Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire.
Sometimes playing with fire gets you burned. What if the "what ifs" come true? What if my marriage hadn't worked out? What if we had lost yet another baby? Would the risks have been worth it? I guess so, I don't know...........
What I've learned in the course of writing today's blog is that initially I thought I was 100% in favor of taking risks. Truth be told I'm only about 98% in favor of them. I tell Little Miss Teen all the time to "just do it." Take the risk who cares what others think? Yes the risks may not work out but that's ok, how bad can it be?
I've learned in the last couple of months, and maybe for the first time in my life, that it can be bad. Sometimes you DO get hurt when you take a risk. I guess that's why it's called a risk not a certainty or guarantee. Apparently we took a risk getting involved in the last church we were at, who knew that joining a group of fellow believers could be risky? I'm learning that all relationships involve the risk of getting hurt. In the end things didn't work and it was messy and painful. Do I think it was a bad risk? I don't know. Give me some more time and I'll be able to see all the good stuff that came out of it. There's another great line in a song about "farther along we'll know more about it. " Does this apparent failure prevent me from wanting to take the risk of joining another church, building relationships and possibly getting hurt again? Just a little. Give me while to heal and develop trust again. Deep down inside I know that taking risks is worth it. So while I started today's blog entry ready to slam all of those people who don't take risks, when I think about it and search my heart I feel compassion. Tomorrow I'll write about fear and how fear of something prevents you from doing stuff. In the meantime I know that taking risks is worth it. I look at these amazing quotes and I understand it.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I . . . I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." — Robert Frost
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." — Robert F. Kennedy
"Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first."
— Frederick Wilcox
"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go."
— T.S. Eliot
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