I'm baaaaaaaaaack! Did you miss me? Yeah probably not and that's ok. So I have this idea. I would like to rush right in and tell you it's about a ninja elf that I sort of saw on Pinterest who challenges the boys to do good works at Christmas time. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt............. Honestly it starts with grief (as a lot of stories do.) A few months ago I lost 6 loved ones in the space of about 8 weeks. Earlier this spring my husband lost his uncle and grandpa within 1 week of each other. But about MY loss (because MY loss is always more important than your loss right? Oooooh how many times I've thought or heard that.) Maybe I'll come back and tell you stories about the people I've lost this fall. There was a favorite first aid mentor who taught me a lot about life and first aid. A beloved uncle who I still can't believe is gone. There's the sister of my may-as-well-be-grandma who once gave me a fabulous tour of Victoria. My husbands grandma who I never met but wished I did. There was the 15 year old son of a friend. That death freaked me out! And then there was a friend who as much as I would have loved to have gone to her funeral I didn't because I'm still at war with her family. So I cried. And cried. Cried out of frustration that I couldn't get home to go to the funerals. Cried out of fear that if a friends son could die in his sleep could mine? Cried out of frustration. I began to realize that life is too short for stuff and not just the physical stuff. Maybe I know that anyways but......... The morning that I sat down to facebook and tried to peice together exactly what had happened to my friends family, and then realized in horror what had; my shock was interupted by news of D's grandma passing. You know what the headline story on facebook that day was? Facebook had changed their format and most of you reading this (present company excluded Staci) were outraged. I remember thinking "have a little perspective here people, you are inconvienced not troubled. It is only facebook. And so it began. I don't think I'm looking for meaning, I think I'm trying to simplify, trying to get back to what really matters. When Dick died I shared a very old country music video by Billy Dean called "Only here for a little while. That's what matters. I guess this doesn't tell you anything about my plans for a ninja elf but I'll tell you more in my next instalment of...........