Marilyn and me

I discovered my new favorite quote the other day. (Don't worry I'll reveal it in a minute.) In discovering it I was shocked by 2 things: how relevant it is to my current situation and that it came from Marilyn Monroe of all people.

I haven't spent a lot of my time thinking about Marilyn. I really don't know anything about her. I don't even know enough about her to form an opinion on her one way or the other. At least the part of me that would never admit to making judgements about people without knowing them well would say that I hadn't made an opinion about her. However my own admission that I was shocked by the relevance and profoundness of her quote shows that secretly I do have an opinion. So if pushed I guess I would admit that I think she was amazingly beautiful but I presume amazingly shallow.

A fast google search on Marilyn shows that she did say some silly stuff like "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything." (group cringe) and "A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." (say what?)
She had a few interesting things to say about shoes: "Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world." and "I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot!" I think I'd appreciate those more if I were a shoe person.

She also said: "We are all of us stars, and we deserve to twinkle." and "All little girls should be told they are pretty, even if they aren't." Those are cool in terms of believing in oneself and ones potential and self esteem.

Other notable and slightly more relatable ones are: "It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone." When I was single, dateless and desperate I would have argued with her on that one but the wisdom of the ages supposes she had a point.

"Dogs never bite me. Just humans." Ain't that the truth sister? Speaking as someone who was just bitten by a few humans she gets a big AMEN from me on that one.

"Well behaved women rarely make history." I feel a history lesson on women who broke the rules coming on. Especially when you pair it with her similar quote: "Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." (Sorry guys!)

Wade through all the fluff quotes and eventually you get to the good stuff. Stuff like: "We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets." Ok, that one I can relate to. That's why I lived in Asia for 3 years. And while I was there I read a story in "Chicken Soup for the Travellers Soul" entitled "We almost did that" about taking every opportunity life gives you so that you never have reason to say "we almost did that." No regrets right Marilyn?

"I restore myself when I'm alone." I guess that one speaks to me right now because I'm at a point in life, post major crisis, where I need to restore myself. As the stay at home mom of 3 kids I'll be the first to tell you that I relish every single minute I get alone (and that doesn't even happen in the bathroom.) But honestly, the thought of being really alone kind of scares me; (probably strange for an only child to admit.) And yet Marilyn said that it restored her. Well yes, restoration IS the goal, but to be alone to achieve it? Was Marilyn on to something?

And finally my new found favorite quote: "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." Ok, so I'm not sure that anybody "deserves" me. But I was just burned by people who couldn't handle me at my worst. People who thought that the crisis I lived through was too messy for them. People who said that I was too needy. As my husband says "well, needy people tend to be needy, that's why they're needy." (Does everyone have their Scooby Doo "arugh?" quizzical look on?). Maybe what I'm saying is that if you enjoy and appreciate me at my best then part of unconditional love is that you care for me at my worst. Well said Marilyn. I take back my presumptions about you.